Repeat after me - I CAN!

I have a sticky note on my monitor at work. “Attitude is everything.” I strive to make mine good and not bad. With a high-stress job and long hours it’s not always easy, but I’m determined to smile. My good humor is not always appreciated but misery spreads like wildfire.

Why are we so more receptive to negative thoughts and comments? Talent and creativity should not be wasted. Any author, aspiring or published, needs a network of supportive friends for days of self-doubt, rejection, and humiliation. Everyone should make a list of their accomplishments and put it on their bathroom mirror. At the top note: “I am a goddess and I can do ANYTHING.”

Inspiration --Tiger Eye

Books are what inspired me to write. Books that transported me, and made me feel a whole gamut of emotions from fear to tears and more. One such book was Marjorie M. Liu's "Tiger Eye." By the time I'd finished reading that book I'd traveled to a Chinese dirt market, fallen in love with Hari, cried over deaths and guilts. And I knew, I wanted to write stories, stories that touched others.

Tiger Eye is on my keeper shelf. From time to time, I'll take it down and read through it again. Even though I know the ending, I enjoy it every single time. When I get a rejection, I read it. When I'm stuck in my writing, I read it. And I always come away energized and inspired.

So, when I heard Passionfruit games is turning Tiger Eye into a game...well, of course I did the Snoopy dance, whooped and hollered. How cool will it be go active into my inspiration?

For more info on the game check out Passionfruit

Blessings

My mother says there are different sorts of blessings. A person can say the words to you. Or do some action that translates into a blessing for you. Or, according to her this is the best, bestow a subconscious blessing.

A subconscious blessing is in response to some action of yours. It can be a lightning smile that illuminates the face for a brief second or a sigh of happiness. It is a blessing from the heart, requiring no conscious thought or formal acknowledgement.

On Valentine's weekend I was involved with a group of volunteers to host the fifth annual Valentine's Lunch at the Soup Kitchen (a Peace Ambassadors of West Texas project). We decorated, cooked, served, washed dishes, cleaned. We also visited, danced and sang. Both the guests -- the homeless and working poor --and the volunteers (a diverse group in terms of age, race, religion, socio-economic status) had a blast. Yes, I was tired by the end of it all, but smiling. Smiling from the inside all the way to the outside.

The breaking of a dream, a rejection, unanswered queries are all minor when compared to hunger and poverty. Life continues at its own pace, all we can do is live as best as we can. So, I haven't published yet, but I've done some things I can be happy about. And I've been blessed.

Writing Insight from a Pro

Found a lovely piece of writing insight today from an author I admire greatly for her productivity, straight talk, and sheer stubborness:

"Every time you write, you go to a construction site in your head. The words are waiting there, like a couple truckloads of loose bricks. They're not going to build themselves into anything, no matter how often you talk to your hands or mouth-breathe or get in touch with your inner Tinkerbell. You pick up the bricks. You mortar them together on a page. You build a story out of them. And that's it. The sweaty, nerve-wracking, non-glittery, unglamorous, orc-free work of writing."

Check out Paperback Writer: Where's the Mothership?">Lynn Viehl's entire post for a good laugh, a healthy dose of common sense and some more insights.

Thanks Lynn, you keep inspiring me. :)

Cool Photos

I recently came across some beautiful travel photography from a UK competition. Looking at the pictures I was reminded that even though writing and photography are different art forms -- words and visuals --some of the same factors are at play. An attention to detail, the ability to see something from a different angle, and then an ability to capture that idea.

The photographer of the year is a Bangladeshi and since I'm originally from Bangladesh...I'm mighty proud to present to you ...drumroll....

Cool Travel Photos

Today is a New Day

It's been a crazy, overwhelming week and I've felt like a rickety little sampan caught in a monsoon storm.

Besides the health scare, one of my non-writing dreams crashed and burned. I'd applied for a career in the foreign service -- passed the initial test, took a language test and submitted five personal essays and finally got eliminated. Since the essays were based on my personal experiences, I couldn't but help feel my life didn't measure up. Yes, major pity party and waterworks. Therapy included early morning talk session with the hubby and a scrabble match, prayer, lists, chocolates. All that sank into a conclusion: I'm doing the best I can and that's all I can do. Today is a new day.

But there's been good stuff too.

This week my WIP was chosen as a honorable mention in the QueryTracker contest, which resulted in an agent's invite to query. So I worked on the query letter some and should be able to send it off (with sample pages) by tomorrow. Eek!

I also submitted another short story to a spec fiction market. Waiting for their reaction.

And, I think I've a better beginning for the short story I'd been working on last week.

Somehow, the positive things seem like small, baby steps in comparison to the disappointments. But steps --any kind--keep moving us forward.

Not in the plans

Yesterday I landed in the ER after I felt bad --numbness and tingly on the right side, a black hole of emptiness in the center of the chest, dizziness, nausea, S-L-O-W thought process. My reaction? I lay down, until much of the feeling passed. Then drove to work. Just another day.
My friend at work --who happens to be a nurse-- heard all this and insisted I call my doc, which resulted me ending up in the ER for hours, undergoing all kinds of tests. Final diagnosis --all tests for a heart attack turned up negative, but now they suspect the beginnings of a stroke.

Lessons learned:

1. 37 isn't too young for a heart attack or a stroke.
2. With women symptoms don't have to be on the left side, could be on the right or any where else in the chest cavity.
3. It's not as dramatic as in the movies, instead the symptoms can creep up on and catch you unawares.
4. None of this was in my plans, my resolutions or my lists. Yet it happened. Life happens. So I'm going to stop putting off things for later and just do what I want to do. Such as write the story I want.
5. I need to take care of myself. Sometimes life gets busy, and exercise time falls by the wayside. Or life stresses me out, so I indulge in comfort foods --fries, nachos etc. Well, payback can be a bitch. So I am going to make me a priority.

So I guess I learned a few new things (part of my resolutions) but in an unexpected way. Sometimes the universe knows better what I need. And I definitely needed this wake up call.