Fear, Stress, Worry

None of this pertains to writing directly. It is about the thing sthat my husband has going on with him health wise right now. We have been married 37 years and i so hope to go for the big 50 if God is willing. But right now we are staring at some serious illnesses. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, fast heart rate, blind in his left eye-cataract in right one-wobbles when he walks, peripherial artery disease (poor leg circulation due to blocked arteries), an abdominal aneurysm and last of all cancer of an unknown origin and type. All we know is it isn't the same as when they removed his left kidney in 1988. It isn't related to the urology department they ruled that out on Tuesday. Now we have more tests and more trips to San Antonio to look forward to in the future. He's a lot more upbeat about this than when they told him he had cancer in 2005. We both were devastated and when he couldn't get anybody to work with him at Fort Hood he sort of quit taking his meds and never went back. This spring he started having pain in his left eye and losing his vision. They think either glaucoma or a stroke caused by a piece of plaque from his neck arteries breaking loose and lodging in his eye. I am doing my best to trade days with coworkers and save my last day of vacation of 2009 for a day when I can't trade and need off. Thank goodness I have been at this job for 14 years and they know about all of this and are willing to work with me as much as possible. Still I'm holding onto God for all there is that he will do what is best for my husband and give me the strength to hang in there no matter what happens.