Blessings

My mother says there are different sorts of blessings. A person can say the words to you. Or do some action that translates into a blessing for you. Or, according to her this is the best, bestow a subconscious blessing.

A subconscious blessing is in response to some action of yours. It can be a lightning smile that illuminates the face for a brief second or a sigh of happiness. It is a blessing from the heart, requiring no conscious thought or formal acknowledgement.

On Valentine's weekend I was involved with a group of volunteers to host the fifth annual Valentine's Lunch at the Soup Kitchen (a Peace Ambassadors of West Texas project). We decorated, cooked, served, washed dishes, cleaned. We also visited, danced and sang. Both the guests -- the homeless and working poor --and the volunteers (a diverse group in terms of age, race, religion, socio-economic status) had a blast. Yes, I was tired by the end of it all, but smiling. Smiling from the inside all the way to the outside.

The breaking of a dream, a rejection, unanswered queries are all minor when compared to hunger and poverty. Life continues at its own pace, all we can do is live as best as we can. So, I haven't published yet, but I've done some things I can be happy about. And I've been blessed.

Late Resolutions

So, I've finally settled into 2010. I no longer automatically date my checks 09 and "Happy 2010!" trips and trots off my tongue easily. I've had time to reflect on the past year and dream on the new one, and these are my resolutions:

1. Laugh more --esp. in situations where the only other option maybe to cry or lose it. Given I've two kids, two cats, two dogs and the typical male of a husband, I'll have to recite this one as a mantra on a daily basis.

2. Learn something new --while publication has been a life-long dream, I can't let it consume me. One of the most important things I did last year was to realize that I can and do have more than one dream, one hope and I'm going to continue to build on it.

3. Write more -- regularly and more than my WIPs. I'm going to have fun and explore other forms --poems, short stories etc.

4. Send my words out to the world. I'm not going to let rejections, long periods of silence and my own doubts pull me back. I'll keep sending my writing out. To that end, I've already submitted and got rejected on a short story this month (while the rejection was very kindly worded and I appreciate it, an acceptance would have made my day). Anyhoo, I'm thinking of reworking the piece into a poem and sending it elsewhere.

So here's wishing for all kinds of wonderful this year....

Different folks, different strokes.

I got score sheets back from two contest entries today. A third is a finalist in that contest. I skimmed through the sheets and read the comments, refusing to let myself be depressed.

I think one judge got all three of my entries, that's fine because at least she liked my stuff and gave me decent scores for each. A couple of the judges gave me fairly low scores and that's fine too.

What's always interesting is the comments on my h/h. I'll read about how someone can't bond with my hero at all, but love my heroine. Then next score sheet they love my hero but my heroine is bland. I'm sure many authors have the same problem, but is there a happy medium?

Or, should I be glad that readers have strong opinions one way or the other?

Seeing the light - and it's a train

I was a little disappointed today. Make that a lot. In the first round of a recent contest I was a finalist in two categories. I scored highest with one MS and tied for highest with another. Can't get much more promising than that!

I've been eagerly awaiting results and comments from the final round judges.

Well, today I got the results. 3rd out of five with the one I thought needed the most work and Honorable Mention with the other. She apparently couldn't bear to place me fifth so I guess I got the HM by default. It's been a while since I received a failing grade and a little hard to swallow.

This is the second MS (of mine) the latter editor has seen. She does not like my work, will never like my work. I understand and that's okay. She probably enjoys stuff I hate to read.

These entries plus a third are (courtesy contest finals) under review by other editors at that particular, and my dream, publishing house, but it's occurred to me I'm wasting my time there.

I know there are, and will be, other dreams. But it's always sad when something turns to dust.

The "Call"

Or in my case - the e-mail!

After being lucky enough to place first in the East Texas RWA's Southern Heat contest with LEARNING TO LET GO, I got a request for a full from The Wild Rose Press! Mostly thanks to the persistence of the contest coordinator, Carol Braswell!

I polished it to pieces - still wasn't happy but couldn't stand to work on it any longer so sent it in at the beginning of February. I got a nice note from Elizabeth West, telling me I'd hear from her no later than May 5th.

Meanwhile - TWRP spun off it's White Rose or Christian Romance line into its own division - White Rose Publishing. I was thrilled to read about it and secretly crossed fingers and toes they'd like my stuff.

March 18th. I see an e-mail from Elizabeth West. Well, phooey. Everyone says rejections come quicker than acceptances. I took a deep breath. Got up. Walked around. Had another look at the list of unread e-mails. Still there.

Another deep breath and another walk. Telling myself it was okay. I'll learn to let go of this rejection and move on. I'm okay. You're okay. Doesn't mean I can't write. All is well.

Sat down and opened the e-mail.

And FREAKED!

Still can't believe it. I'm a coordinator for the Daphne contest so am swamped in entries - trying to get them out to judges - trying to do everything right (having some issues with that part) AND trying to come up with a bio for myself and a back cover for my book.

WRP sent me a whole sheet to fill out so they can do a nice front cover. They asked things like h/h eye color and I had to go look it up! I've been immersed in another WIP and LTLG had GONE out of my head.

So this weekend I'm going to print it and read it. In between packing up the ground floor of my home because they're coming to lay tile on Monday (finally getting fixed after Ike damage in September) AND getting out the rest of my entries.

A thrilling ride!